Principles

Parents are Shepherds, Not Engineers: Strive to Enjoy Your Children as Individuals

Rather Than Trying to Redesign Them to Be Like Others, Accept Children for Who They Are

Use Immediate Feedback

Act, Don't Yak

Keep Your Sense of Humor

Use Rewards Before Punishment

Anticipate Problem Settings–Make a Plan

Keep a Sense of Priorities

Practice Forgiveness (Child, Self, Others)

Shape Behavior Through Reinforcement Techniques

Consider Establishing a Home Token System

Use Fines, Time-out

Heavily Praise High Compliance Commands Initially

Use Imperatives, Not Questions

Use Eye Contact, Touching When Communicating

Child Recites Request

Make Complex Chores Simpler (if necessary)

Reduce Time Delays for Consequences

Reward Throughout the Task

Time Out Procedure

• For Household Rules—Instant Time-out
• Deliver command as a 3-step sequence
• Command (5 count, backwards)
• Warning (5 counts, backwards, raise voice)
• Initiate time-out, if noncompliant
• Release From Time-out Contingent on:
• Serving minimum period (1-2 minutes/year of age)
• Must be quiet during time-out
• Then consent to and do command
• Afterwards, Reward Next Good Behavior
• If Child Escapes Time-out:
• Increase length of time-out does not work
• Consider using fines in Token System
• Use bedroom for time-out (remove fun objects from room); close and lock door if in extreme situations

Joe Peraino, Ph.D. works as a professional coach and psychologist. Contact him at joe@joeperaino.com.